It took me a few days to think of this next post. Sometimes I feel less inspired or sad and I have a rougher time getting through the day. I know that lots of other people feel that way too. I had a few defining moments in the past few weeks that made me think about the past 2 years and how they influence my life now. I think the biggest way my past ties into my life is in inspiration. It’s in knowing that I hit rock bottom and clawed my way back up again. Painfully and not in an easy way. I'm stronger now and it's time to regroup and get more serious about the path.
When I talk about “my past” I mean, all the difficult things that culminated in my life while causing a sort of internal emotional collapse. I had my father recovering from a heart transplant and constantly in the hospital, a business for sale that I didn’t want to be selling, and a marriage that was crumbling faster than a shortbread cookie. All of which had financial consequences that I had to juggle with nothing to fall back on.
It all happened at the same time. I thought I would die, but I didn’t die, I just kept pushing forward. I didn’t want to keep pushing forward, I wanted to stay in bed and drink tequila until I fell asleep every day. Sometimes I did stay in bed and drink tequila. But I had a family and friends that kept calling me and asking things of me. So, I helped them out, but I guess I was really helping myself because I was able to push forward. I knew I wasn’t okay mentally, but my family got me on the path to that stability I wanted.
What do I want out of life? I want to be happy. I want to be with someone that I can enjoy life with and grow with in spirituality and just live a happy human life. I want to have financial stability so that I don’t have to worry so much about keeping everything afloat. That's what I've been fighting for.
I know it can be hard to be a business owner. It is hard. It’s difficult to have to carry so many problems and come up with affordable solutions. It’s hard when few people can relate to your problems. It’s even harder when you’re going through a difficult life event such as a divorce. I was stressed, I lost my hair, I gained weight, my psoriasis had a field day with my skin. I was in bad shape. But the only way to get better is just to move forward, to push forward and see the Kairos. Identify the difficulty and take it as an opportunity to get stronger and to come back better than you were before. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone- but you do need to have faith in the power you have inside to adapt, overcome, and change for something much better.
I share this story because most of you know it anyway. And I’ve been asked a multiple times by different people how I was able to keep it together during all of that. If my story can help you, it gives that pain a positive conversion for me. I just want everyone to know that it never was kept together for me. I tried my best, but I failed so many times along the way. Many times, I failed very publicly. The most important thing is to keep moving forward. It doesn’t matter if you can only move forward slowly. As an entrepreneur, you don’t have a choice. This is what you need to do, or you will fail.